I have a fear.

Fear that if for the slightest moment I show any signs of happiness,

Right now,

While I’m writing this blog entry. . .

If the corner of my lips should dare to spread themselves,

In an upward and outward motion,

Moving in the opposite directions from each other,

So as to form a smile. . .

If self joy should dare to lift from the root of my belly button and sort of,

Gasp it’s way out of me,

In what one might call. . .

A silent chuckle,

Then and only then,

Will my dreaming,

Deeply sound asleep 6 year old daughter,

Sense thatĀ happiness,

And be lifted out from the comfort of her slumber

To come and search for me,

At 11:30 am,

To see what the hell, Mommy is doing.

That is my greatest fear right now.

My greatest fear alone… right now.


PS: Ten minutes into my next post, this happens. No seriously.

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