I have a fear.
Fear that if for the slightest moment I show any signs of happiness,
While I’m writing this blog entry. . .
If the corner of my lips should dare to spread themselves,
In an upward and outward motion,
Moving in the opposite directions from each other,
So as to form a smile. . .
If self joy should dare to lift from the root of my belly button and sort of,
Gasp it’s way out of me,
In what one might call. . .
A silent chuckle,
Then and only then,
Will my dreaming,
Deeply sound asleep 6 year old daughter,
Sense that happiness,
And be lifted out from the comfort of her slumber
To come and search for me,
At 11:30 am,
To see what the hell, Mommy is doing.
That is my greatest fear right now.
My greatest fear alone… right now.
PS: Ten minutes into my next post, this happens. No seriously.